WEE reviews May 30, 2006

Providence by Christian Barter

Julie: Strange read. Out of five strophes, two were wonderful (3,5), two fine (2,4), and one pretty dreadful (1). Adding that up should mean I like it, but the whole is less than the sum of its parts and I am unenthused. Still:

That architecture is a lukewarm ribcage
woven together with tiny songs.

That is just fab. I don't know what it means. I don't care. I love it.

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My Dress by Molly Tenenbaum

Julie: This poem was too much fun to read aloud. I didn't get much in the way of Deep Meaning, but perhaps I wasn't looking. Perhaps it isn't there. I mention it yet wonder if I really want it. Is it enough that this poem is a joy to speak?

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The Nod/A Clip by Seamus Heaney

Julie: And if you want to talk about poems that are a joy to read aloud, look no further. "The Nod" is quite nice, but "A Clip"? Really something special. There's something very satisfying, fat, about these two poems. Of course, I have a fondness for rhyme and the older I get the more I like 'em slant.

WEE reviews May 29, 2006

Quail by Dore Kiesselbach

Julie: Apostrophed heads! I haven't read a descriptor that I like more than that in ages. This poem does everything right, condensing a long story into short lines, allusive and simple. I like everything about it, though I'm generally not a fan of linebreaks through words. Devastation in a single line of quail. Really well done.

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My Tender Heart by Molly Tenenbaum

Julie: This poem started well, very well. I was especially happy with the sneaky slant rhymes and the "hot bun's inner butter." But strophe 4 seems to go awry, with a rhyme that calls huge attention to itself without enough justification. Then we're headed in a different direction, and I felt disillusioned. The end leaves me feeling dusty and confounded. Still, I want to read more by this poet.

WEE reviews May 28, 2006

The Sacrifice by Richard Jones

Julie: Hum. I don't feel adequate to say much about this poem, being a person who tended to dose a bit through the two required philosophy semesters at ND. Hey, don't judge! At least one was at 8 am, and my brain, such as it is, only starts functioning around 2:30. The line "the heart's a grave, a poor burial plot" really intruigued me, but the poem is rather staid both before and after this line. Sure, I might be looking for something too emo for a poem about Kierkegaard, and I make no excuses. It's after 2:30. I'm just unsubtle.

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The Wide World by Steve Kronen

Julie: Certain words are pretty much owned by certain poets, and gyre is Yeats's. So a poem that uses it is going to reference him, even if unintentionally. The pre-First Coming, I guess. Dammit, I dozed in theology, too! In any case, I found myself trying to reconcile the two poems, knowing that I was missing something. The language here is fine, occasionally pretty, but a few places (daughter of a despot dressed) get a little out of hand. The strength of the end and the beginning's great whirligigs can't quite buoy the sagging middle. This is a short poem, but it feels a little soft, a little overexpanded, like a dough that needs punched down.

Just a few notes

One of the reviewed poets, Bryan Penberthy, came to the review, and it inspired me to put links in the sidebar to the poets I've reviewed. If I've reviewed a poem of yours and you'd like a link, please drop me an email (jsgoddess@gmail.com) or comment with your site info.

That way you might get a tiny bit more exposure for your work, and I'll get to repay you in a tiny way for poking at you in public.

Also feel free to comment to smack me around, defend a poem, or taunt the Happy Fun Ball.

WEE reviews May 26, 2006

5 by 7 by Max Winter

Julie: Well gosh, I'm behind. I could say that I'll be sure to catch up, to review the poems I skipped. But I'd be lying, or at least promising something I'm not likely to deliver. The word "slacker" is tattooed across the bridge of my nose. It's occasionally hidden by my very prim glasses. Winter's poem interested me, but didn't delight. I really wanted something with more wonder to it, though the description of the man is filled with nice touches. It made me picture Terry-Thomas, though, which is unfortunate but entirely my fault.

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III. Handkerchiefs on the Lawn, from From A Burbank Catalogue by David Barber

Julie: The picture this poem paints is an appealing one, but the language so often slips into such tired diction that I just can't enjoy it. "Wildest intentions" is the big offender. I don't spend my days shouting "Cliche!" at every passing poem, but some really do need to embrace fresher language.

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Let This World Endure by Yves Bonnefoy, trans. Hoyt Rogers

Julie: I don't read French, so I can't pin the biggest flaw of this poem on the author or the translator. I do notice that translated poems seem to suffer from vagueness, abstraction, limpness, languor more than English language poems. This poem doesn't have much in the way of vibrance, motion, or energy. I was just at a distance, watching a not-terribly-interesting play unfold.

WEE reviews May 24, 2006

Gym Dance With the Doors Wide Open/The Smell of Rat Rubs Off by J. Allyn Rosser

Julie: "Gym Dance" is a bit overwrought, though I liked the playful use of rhyme. I never understand things like "its hue a very huelessness." Five words that say absolutely nothing. Their meaning a very meaninglessness. The plot of the poem escapes me entirely. "Rat" is an interesting, clever sonnet, but the entire effect is destroyed by a horrible inversion in the final line. Yow.

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Lovetown by Bryan Penberthy

Julie: Here we have a great example of a poem that I only discovered because of this exercise. I might have bailed early because it wasn't catching me. But then it got its hooks into me and didn't let go. Not the greatest imagery in the world, and a little heavy on the adjectives, but this poem explored a perspective I found compelling, and it worked for me in a quiet, understated way.

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No Tell Motel won't load for me today. I'll take a look when I can.

WEE reviews May 23, 2006

Pliers by Robert Pinsky

Julie: There might be a decent poem underneath the gimmick, but I can't see it for the trees.

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The Ant by Max Winter

Julie: This poem is good, almost great, with a compelling analytical style that made me very interested in the narrator. I wanted to keep reading because I wanted to learn about who was speaking, as well as the plot going on in the poem itself. I also have a fondness for insect poems. Ants are just neat, okay? Geez.

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The Poetry of Bad Weather by Debora Greger

Julie: Very enjoyable poem, though I found myself feeling awfully nitpicky about the lack of a comma after "snow" in the final strophe, which leaves snow going blue with cold and while I grant that the narrator is in Florida and may not be aware of this, snow is already cold! Yes, I am reading it wrong, but it keeps poking at me. Take the comma away after "way." Put it after "snow." I am happy. See how easy it is to make me happy? I am a cheap date.

Only the dull roar of air forced to spend its life indoors
could be heard

I've heard that air. Only it's between my ears.

WEE reviews May 22, 2006

A Crosstown Breeze by Henry Taylor

Julie: I did the reviews so late last night that Poetry Daily had actually put up a fresh poem before I saw it. So this review is actually for yesterday's poem. I'm glad it worked out the way it did, since this poem would not have inspired me to get off my unreviewing duff. The rhymes feel forced and a bit childish, which isn't helped by the naivete of the poem.

now gray concrete
and electric light
wear on my feet
and dull my sight.

This is just not what I want from rhyming poetry.

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For the Sake by Max Winter

Julie: I can't accuse this poem of lacking movement, though I do think it goes on a bit too long. I think repetition is one of the most valuable tools a poet has, and this uses it to good effect, though I didn't feel that the poem, in the end, had enough surprises in store for me.

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= by Lightsey Darst

Julie: To be honest, I couldn't follow this poem's meaning. A few of the lines intrigued me, especially the last, but the poem as a whole is choppy, disoriented. The linebreaks, symbol title, even the poet's name adds to the effect. Interesting that two poems in a row reference a symbol of a white animal. Are the editors doing that apurpose?

WEE reviews May 21, 2006

Human Terms by Kathleen Lynch

Julie: A week or so back, I commented that I find themes of alienation incredibly depressing. They also frighten me. In this poem, it's an albino calf, and I spent the poem waiting for the horrible thing to happen to the misfit. In a way, my relief when I finished the poem makes me delighted to recommend it. By the same token, I recognize my own freaky paranoia, that I'm the one who brought those nasty expectations to the table. Normal people might read this and never feel the enormous tension and release that I felt. In any case, despite my barely restrained fear, I enjoyed the poem. I can't unread it, or partially unread it to tell you if I liked it halfway through. I also can't believe I'm attempting to explain the stupidity of my own brain.

                We can't help
wanting to be the story.

I am so busted.

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A Thrush by Utamaro by Eamon Grennan

Julie: Strangely, today's poems remind me of each other, despite very different sensibilities coming into play. This poem brings the pressure of prose to bear. Something about prose lineation forces a poem to be read in a chunk rather than slowly. I don't savor prose poems, at least on the first read. I consume them whole. Then, like the thrush, I wait until the dust settles before deciding anything. Yes, I am mixing metaphors like mad. Sue me. There is an urgency to this poem, borne by the structure--a chunkiness and a heft that pleases me. It didn't involve the tension of the first poem, but both deal with alienation, with waiting for a great change. Fitting that I was feeling alienated and now feel that something was waiting for me.

WEE reviews May 19, 2006

The Elgin Marbles by Davis McCombs

Julie: I would feel guilty if I just said "I hated this poem." But really, what more can I say?

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Trouble by Ron Wallace

Ehh. I think this poem never really had much potential, based primarily on the abstract subject matter.

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12. Across, from Life As A Crossword Puzzle by Noah Falck

This ended well, but didn't do much to interest me before that. When I look at today's poems, I see that I had a general sense of malaise, which could just mean that I was cross and tired when reading them. My mood does affect my reading. Perhaps it shouldn't.

WEE reviews May 18, 2006

Plat à Décor by Michael White

The first half of this poem is rather like a catalog of art. And the thing about art is that it's pretty hard to describe to any great purpose, even in a poem. That left me feeling distant and bored. The poem ends well, once it moves past individual works and onto the artist as a person. A more visual person might find it more rewarding than I did.

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Funeral, Mineral, Vegetable by Jibade-Khalil Huffman

I was completely disconnected from this poem (which is beginning to look like a pattern today). I didn't come away with any sense of meaning or any joy in the wordplay. Just nothing. Might not be the poem's fault.

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11. Across, from Life As A Crossword Puzzle by Noah Falck

I'm disappointed in this poem after yesterday's. I think Falck has a lot of talent, mind you, but I don't think he's as ruthless as he needs to be with his editing. This didn't need to be flat, but it was. And the ending is especially easy.

WEE reviews May 17, 2006

Fog on Skyline Drive by Alison Apothecker

Julie: When I got to the end of this poem, I read:

I give you the chance, curve by curve
            to practice what is necessary
                        to say

And I thought, "I gave you that chance, too. Why don't you say it?" I'll admit that I didn't get a huge amount of sleep (2 hours) last night, and I'll admit that I've spent the whole day in doctors' offices and am groggy and should be either asleep or watching baseball (if there's a discernible difference), but this poem felt coy and dammit, I'm not in the mood for coy. Just say it. SAY IT.

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Without a Compass by Luciano Erba, trans. Ann Snodgrass

Julie: Nothing coy about this one. Nothing coy about my review. I like it. There.

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5. Across, from Life As A Crossword Puzzle by Noah Falck

Julie: I love this. I simply love it. Sure, some of it is fatigue, and the way the surreal becomes hilarious when your brain is starved of oxygen. But I simply adored this poem, its dry tone, its absurdities. Thank you, Noah Falck. You've made my day.

WEE reviews May 16, 2006

Two Poems by Robert Creeley

Julie: Frankly, the second poem leaves me so cold I'm not going to say anything more about it. But the first, "Talking," is more interesting. I think it successfully captures the awkwardness of feeling out of place and struggling to join in. The language is a little flat, but that probably serves the purpose of this particular narrator. I never understand breaking a line mid-word, unless it's for humorous effect. This is, at least in my projections, a depressing poem. I find issues of alienation to be some of the most upsetting. I'm not sobbing over my Diet Coke or anything, but it touched a nerve.

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Oracle by Michael Spence

Julie: I read somewhere recently, on a forum or a blog, where someone wondered if the bulk of us could pick out a "male" poet from a "female" poet, and whether that would affect our impressions of a poem if we found ourselves to be wrong. It's an interesting question, and one that should be tested someday. Well, I just tested it in myself. I would have guessed this poem was written by a woman. I try to read the Verse Daily and Poetry Daily poems before looking at the authors (that doesn't work with No Tell), but I've never actually been surprised before. It's a weird sensation. I don't know if the author's name changed my opinion of the poem. I liked it, and especially liked the last line, but I wasn't and still am not really taken with it. I am curious what Michael Spence would think of my supposition, but I'll probably never know.

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4. Down, from Life As A Crossword Puzzle by Noah Falck

Julie: Much more engaging poem than yesterday's though this poet does tend to slip into some lazy writing. Nothing devastatingly bad, but a little ill-thought. This for example:

I think [dying] would be a lot like a day when everything goes blank.

Well, maybe it would, but what is that like? When something is described as being like something else, shouldn't the something else be a thing the reader can relate to, without being obvious? Yes, it would be exactly like a day when everything goes blank because that's what dying is, and I don't know what it's like! "I think skydiving would be a lot like falling from a really high place." "I think drowning would be a lot like choking to death on a hot dog." That said, this is a pleasant read and the idea of a pet rock named Gomer makes me very happy.

WEE reviews May 15, 2006

2. Down, from Life As A Crossword Puzzle by Noah Falck

Julie: I'm stumbling out of the gate. I took the weekend off and it was a mistake. Apparently, if you let your guard down for two days, your momentum goes all to hell and all poems seem to be written in foreign languages and grunts. So these lines:

She speaks a single sentence a day,
waits for those perfect words
to gather at the base of her throat.

Really struck me. How many reviews would I write if I had to wait for the perfect words? I could count them on my nonexistent third hand.

This poem doesn't live up to its opening, I think. It's a nice poem, but nothing vivid or daring. I enjoyed the read, but though I read it first thing this morning, I didn't really have anything to say. And when I reread it 30 minutes ago, I found I had forgotten it. Worrisome.

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Forgiveness by Ioanna Carlsen

Julie: Abstract, deliberately vague, and without much to sink my teeth into. I do like the juxtaposition of:

I deny you three times

The cock crows.
We marry.

Unexpected. But that tension and surprise didn't last long. Scattered, disjointed, no. This one isn't working for me.

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Starling by Dorianne Laux

Julie: A very attractive poem to read aloud. Does it sacrifice sense for sound? Youbetcha. Am I okay with that? Today.

WEE reviews May 12, 2006

If My Love For You Were an Animal by Jennifer L Knox

Julie: And we end the week with a bang, not a whimper. This is Knox's most accessible and most powerful poem for the week. Not demonstrating the same vivid wordplay or cleverness of the week's earlier poems, but building, building, building to a great close that elevates the entire poem to something more than a little special.

Being able to read a sequence of poems from a single poet is a gift, and I want to drop a specific thanks to the folks at No Tell Motel for choosing to publish in this way. Poems are social creatures, and do their best when surrounded by other poems to gain context.

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Ontology of the Miniature Room by Rebecca Dunham

Julie: Rebecca Dunham uses one of my favorite words to end her poem, thereby guaranteeing that I'll regard it favorably. I can also be bribed with ice cream and shiny new books. This is a pleasant, pretty poem rather than a punchy, powerful poem, but I am pleased as punch, or perhaps merely punchy as punch, about it.

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Tu Fu Watches the Spring Festival Across Serpentine Lake by Frank Bidart

Julie: Some poems for some readers will always be less than the sum of their parts. This poem has some beautiful lines, but they are beautiful to me in the same way that a woman can be beautiful. I can see it, but I don't really care. There are beauties that hold no attraction, and Bidart's poem seems to be one of them.

WEE reviews May 11, 2006

Proof by Victoria Chang

Julie: This poem delights me. The straightforward diction, open formatting, solid imagery, and a punchy close. The poem never descends to gimmickry, cutesyness, fake cleverness, or bathos. The "perpendicular" lines are chilling. Good stuff.

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Waiting by Brad Davis

Julie: This felt like more than one poem, all struggling for dominance. I kept thinking, "Here is where the poem really starts," and then a few lines later, "No, here is where the poem really starts. No, here. No, here." I don't think that's because the poem is that bad, just that it doesn't build on itself, despite the repetition of the word, or idea of, "beauty."

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I Am My Own Elephant Gun, by Jennifer L Knox

Julie: Really enjoyable, quickfire rockpiles of words that she manages to keep from tumbling on her head. I think a whole book of Knox at once would eventually have me screaming for respite, but one a day is working. And how. Gabriel pointed out an editing error in the first line that I didn't see. I see only what I wish to see! So there.

Gabriel: Of the poems today, I thought this one had the most interesting and inventive language. That said, it is language that can't come to terms with itself. The constructions which are either for sonic effect or to set up a chain of alternate readings, i.e.:

dogged by silent phones, by one ringing
phone in which of the unlit windows,
by all the slits in the meat to be filled
with slivered garlic, by the garlic to be

didn't hold together for me. At the end of my reading I didn't come away with a sense of purposeful disruption but simple cacophony. While it had plenty of sound and fury, it also signified nothing.

WEE reviews May 10, 2006

Day 4: Somewhere in the Everglades, Ranger Dan Continues to Feign Unconsciousness by Jennifer L Knox

Julie: Now back to the same laugh-out-loud joy I felt when I read Monday's poem. Knox is fun and playful and takes risks. I'm appreciative. I'm also late for a doctor's appointment. Crap.

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Riding Westward by Carl Phillips

Julie: It took me a few tries to read this one, and it never manages to move beyond the dull and trite for me. The ending is too poetic in tone to follow the rest of the poem. This is a poem that would have benefited from a lot of trimming and tightening. I can't say how much benefit, but some.

WEE reviews May 9, 2006

I Am a Girl by Jennifer L Knox

Julie: Well, that felt pointless, as if Knox wanted to shock me or prove she can say words like "dick" and "pussy" in a poem. Yes. You can. No, I wouldn't actually claim that was her intent, but there didn't seem to be anything else going on. For the record, real ladies say dick in poems, at the opera, and most especially to the umpire behind home plate.

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Hat of Many Goldfinches by Susan Meyer

Julie: Certain images are brilliant and beautiful when surrounded by other strong images, but turn dull when they are the focus of a poem. A hat made of goldfinches is a striking idea, but not enough to bear the weight of a poem, especially a poem of this length. Some nice lines, definitely, but the image needs surrounded by stronger ideas.

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Barometric by Janet Sylvester

Julie: This? I like. I like the breathless rush of its sentences, its matter-of-fact diction, the observations that didn't feel artificial or too elevated. Good stuff.

WEE reviews May 8, 2006

Cow Song by Susan B.A. Somers-Willett

Julie: Well that was an interesting read. I liked the slanting rhymes, though the loosey-goosey meter made the rhymes seem sloppy instead of crisp. I'm not sure what the "cow song" is that's filling the pail, though it gives me the most horrific image, which doesn't fit the loosening of the young shoulder. Or does it? The shotgun sitting rather than being in use throws me. In any case, I was willing to work hard enough to end up with questions, which is probably a Good Sign. I'd like to see this poet demonstrate something with meter to show that she meant what she did. Right now, I don't see it.

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Thighs by CK Williams

Julie: I'll be honest. I didn't give this poem much of a chance. I hated it from the moment I opened the page. It's squatty. And if there's an uglier word in English than "squatty," I've never heard it. The poem tries to use ugly and flat language to tell and ugly and flat story and it pretty much stays ugly and flat. I don't need pretty language, but I don't need the Swede from NOAA, either.

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13 Stages of Grief by Jennifer L Knox

Julie: I know it says "grief" right there in the title, but this made me laugh. And then I read it aloud and, because of the title, could temper my voice into something a little hysterical and bereft. It could have a hundred titles and thereby evoke a hundred moods. That's probably not a good sign, though I enjoyed the read.

WEE reviews May 7, 2006

Starr Farm Beach by Timothy Steele

Julie: This poem doesn't do much for me until the final stanza, and even there I can only say that it's rather pretty but seems safe and, well, safe. Competent, but workmanlike.

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Dear Beekeeper, by Julianne Buchsbaum

Julie: There are times when meaning is overrated, and perhaps poetry is the best example of one of those times. This poem doesn't mean anything to me directly.

I want to witness all the red
economies of venom in the first bee

Say wha? But still, I enjoyed the read very much. I enjoyed the language, the transmuting colors, red to yellow to brown, and I think I must really like bees in poems nearly as much as I hate pregnancy in them. Mmm. Bees.

WEE reviews May 5, 2006

Coyotes in Greenwich! by Julie Sheehan

Julie: I like the line

Coyotes invade. They claim to be the truth.

and

Our wives keep turning in our beds
like roasting meat

But the rest of the poem leaves me pretty cold. I see coyotes occasionally on my drive to work. The ones I see don't seem to be claiming anything, except perhaps "I am smaller than you expected."

WEE reviews May 4, 2006

Tell Me by Maggie Nelson

Julie: I can't say there's something specifically wrong with this poem. It's not that I think the poet made a mistake anywhere, except perhaps in choosing a subject she couldn't really make pop from the page. The poem ends up workmanlike instead of wow.

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Three Poems by Robin Robertson

Julie: The first of the three poems is the only one that really drew me. The second one felt pat, the third too attempted-clever. The first, especially with the unexpected image of the butterfly, was not spectacular, but it showed some nice attention to sound and image.

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Chora by Josh Hanson

Julie: I said yesterday that I thought Hanson's poems were improving as the week went on. I still think so, though this poem is perhaps a little less well-realized than yesterday's. I appreciate the spacing, the deliberation in this poem, the quiet voice:

When the ground still holds,
Though shut up, something of the sun.

WEE reviews May 3, 2006

Nettles by AE Stallings

Julie: I was beginning to despair. Before Monday, I thought that my WEE reviews were just going to end up sounding bitter and dismissive. I wanted some poems I could shout about from the rooftops. And today? Today delivered. And how. This poem by Alicia Stallings is delicate and striking, with wonderful use of slant rhymes to keep things from getting too chime-y.

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Plague Year by Josh Hanson

Julie: And it's not just AE who delivered. Nope. This poem by Josh Hanson is brisk and sharp, with a fine ambigous ending. He's getting better and better as the week progresses.

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Two Poems by Christian Wiman

Julie: And then comes my favorite of the day, the nonce rhymed "The Secret" by Christian Wiman that uses rhyme to keep the poem unexpected, but with the resolution of a door slamming shut. When I whine about cutesy rhymes, it's because writers like Stallings and Wiman can get overshadowed. This is what rhyme can do. This is its power.

WEE reviews May 2, 2006

Gravity by Josh Hanson

Julie: Yesterday's Josh Hanson poem was too short for itself. Today's is fine, though I don't make a connection between the first three lines and the last two. I'm okay with that because the last two are really nice, but perhaps I would have thought them really really nice if I got the connection.

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Prose, I say, Plasma by Susanna Childress

Julie: This poem is an absolute delight on the tongue. I mean, just say these lines out loud:

Here we glee in paronomasia,

our forms of humor slowly colliding until the wide sun settles

That's just lovely. Lovely.

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Day-lily by Susan Stewart

Julie: I dislike most formal poetry that relies on repetition--pantoums, villanelles, triolets, and the like--but I love me some rhetorical repetition in verse both free and formal. This poem benefits from it. What hurts it is the spiky ugliness flinging me down the page. These lines are so short I have nothing to savor. Hurry, hurry, hurry. That goes against the effective tolling of a repetition.

WEE reviews May 1, 2006

Invitation by WD Snodgrass

Julie: The thing about reviewing anything is that you bring your own biases to the table. There's no denying it. So when I say that this poem was okay but that I wish it hadn't been published, I'm sitting here as someone who writes a lot in rhyme and who hates when rhyme is used to cutesy affect. Because then readers decide that's all rhyme is, and then, well, I don't want to be seen as cutesy. It's not fair, but at least I'll be up front about it and tell you where my biases are, when I'm aware of them. And I'm aware of this one.

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When Dylan Left Hibbing, Minnesota, August 1959 by John Hodgen

Julie: And then we get more rhyme only I'm having a tough time being charitable about this one at all. Yes, if all rhymed poems were like this, we'd all deserve to be smothered in our bed, bed, bed, bed. The rhymes are pasted on; I don't get the point. But hey, "Don't criticize what you can't understand," right? Bah.

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Map (Rimbaud) by Josh Hanson

Julie: I love short poems. I think they are hard to write, and refreshing to read. I love those rabbity punches. But this one is too short. I don't know enough about Rimbaud to tie anything to the title, and while I grasp the idea behind the inverted bowl, the close leaves me baffled. Still, I guess it's better to be baffled in five lines than fifty.