June 21
How I Learned to Float Away From Windows by Dean Gorman
Julie: Like a bad penny, I return. But I don't look like Lincoln unless I've having a really bad day. There's a lot to like in this poem, especially
                     our eyes
holding onto smoke rings
but I think the lineation and lack of punctuation is making it a little harder than it has to be. The diction isn't so strong that the ambiguities set up neat little possibilities. Instead, it feels a little irksome to me.
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Turtle and Two Girls by Eamon Grennan
Julie: There's a good poem in there, but it feels very cluttered, like lots of phrases need trimmed down, punched up. The back and forth between fragment and complete sentences felt awkward, like the trimming started and stopped. I didn't dislike the poem, but it felt lethargic, too explanatory.
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Semaphore by Sarah Murphy
Julie: This poem will steamroll you if you're not careful. It's playful, thick, and loaded with sonics that scream to be read aloud. In the end, I enjoyed its play but was left a little cold.
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